Mars and Venus.

The most frustrating thing that I've had to deal with in recent years is men: how they operate, how to understand them, how to have them better understand me, and how to coexist peacefully with them. I have been in love with one in particular for a long time now, but for a while things have been rather unstable and rocky between the two of us. So what am I to do with all this confusion and these feelings, but to analyze the situation and see how best to solve this issue? I've come across a few useful articles concerning the differences between men and women, which in my opinion are what truly complicate a relationship if they are not properly understood and respected.

Generally these articles maintained that women are capable of thinking about and doing many things at once because of a stronger 
connection between the left and right sides of the brain, value relationships as most important in 
their lives, find communication and empathy to be essential parts of interacting, need intimacy and validation, and relate things and events rather personally to themselves and draw upon their own 
experiences. Men are more spatially oriented and logical as the left sides of their brain have developed faster, they are more prone to aggression, they are more career-oriented and base the quality of their lives generally more on the career, they do not connect incidences as much but tend to see issues as isolated, they are overwhelmed when confronted with too much emotion, they value trust and space from their women, and are quicker to become defensive.

Of course these are generalizations, but I have seen them manifested in my own life and in my own relationships. There are so many misunderstandings between men and women simply because each of their actions do not necessarily reflect well on their intentions. Let me explain. If a guy is busied with something and does not have the opportunity to call a girl, he may find this to be completely harmless. After all, he is still thinking about her, but just doesn't have the time to spare to give her a call and let her know that he cares. That validation is essential to a girl, and if it is not received, the girl will interpret his lack of communication as his lack of interest in her; because after all, if she were really that important, wouldn't he think of nothing but her, and want to hear her voice at all times of the day? Guys, however, are much better at focusing on indivdual tasks and highly value their careers, so it is with no personal enmity that they neglect to call the girl they care about as often as she would like. When the girl is upset over his actions, which she interprets as uncaring, and demands his attention, the guy in turn will interpret her actions as over-the-top and selfish. In his mind, she is not allowing him to take care of activities that are important to him, whereas in her mind he is not acknowledging her importance in his life.

So what is there to do? If two people care about one another, but one feels invalidated and the other feels too pressured to show validation, how is there a possible compromise? I suppose it'd be most important, first and foremost, to make sure that both individuals are willing to compromise. I can say I am lucky enough to have met somebody who is a rather understanding individual, but our biological differences have been making our interactions more and more difficult and complicated. To him I'm afraid that a compromise isn't worth it, and that he thinks I'd be
incapable of understanding his position on things. Truthfully I see where he is coming from, and I'm not intent on pressuring him into anything. Considering the circumstances, however, I need validation of his love for me and to know that despite his need for independence at this point, I am not a lesser-valued person or component in his life. Or, maybe I am. But I don't think so, really; but sometimes each of us jump to our extremes, as do most men and women when interacting with one another, and it's hard to see that both parties mean no harm towards the other.

There is a significant chance that it's not just our chemistry that causes our conflicts, at least in my circumstance, but judging from patterns I've seen it seems as though the thing that really makes us both miserable is that we have expectations for one another, but neither of us are aware of them and therefore are incapable of fulfilling them. In fact, we do just the opposite of what's desired.

So no matter what stage of life you find yourself in, I'd hope that if you found a person who was worthy of your love, that you'd at least understand the differences in the ways you both function and how to handle these issues without grave misunderstandings or conflicts. Anyway, here are the articles that I found particularly intriguing. If you type "differences between men and women" in Google, there are a lot of results that come up. Here are just a few that I read:

Understanding Men and Women - Research Paper
Differences Between Men and Women - A Survey (BBC article)
Differences Between Men and Women (Relationship-Institute.com)